Yes - Part One
by yesverse-bestverse
Summary: Crackfic with all your favorite crack pairings. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

A white, blue eyed mochi with glasses and a blond cowlick was hopping away from the danger behind it. "Mmmm! Mmmm!" It shouted in fear as it tried to open the locked oak door. "There's no escape... You trespassed... Now you pay..." a girl with raven black hair and lifeless emerald green eyes appeared behind the blue eyed mochi. The girl's pale hands picked the mochi and stared into the white mochi's fearfulled blue eyes. She smiled gently as she saw it was in fear. "Now, now... It'll be quick... I promise~..." She whispered to the mochi as it shook it's head 'no'. She lightly petted the mochi and her pure snow white dress was covered with red 'paint'.

CHAPTER ONE

A man with short, messy blond hair, and emerald eyes was looking in one of his cookbooks. "Ok... Add the milk and stir slowly." He said as he slowly poured the gallon of milk into the pot of yellow noodles with cheese powder on it and putted it down as he stirred the milk into the noodles. "Mac-and-cheese are the easiest thing to make." He said with confidence in his voice.

"Britain! Dude!" The British man flinched at the American accent and knocked a container of poison into the Mac-and-cheese.

"Bloody hell!" He shouted in anger.

A man with short blond hair with a cowlick and blue eyes walked in the kitchen and plugged his nose. "Britain, dude, that stinks."

"Shut it America! Your loud voice made me knock the poison in my meal, you bloody git!" The British man shouted at the American as he washed the poisoned Mac-and-cheese down the drain.

"Dude, why was there poison in your kitchen?" The American asked as he looked in the cabinets.

"Oliver. You know how he loves to bake his cupcakes." The British said as he was trying to forget his neon pink wearing maniac version of him.

"Oh." America said as he pulled out a brown box with blue letters that spells, 'Cookies' and ate the chocolate chip cookies. "Oh yeah, dude, everyone is coming over. Italy said that he knows something that's so freaking cool!" Britain plugged his ears, trying to block the American's loud and booming voice.

"Bloody git..." He whispered quietly as he walked out of his kitchen.

Soon France, China, Russia, Canada, Italy, Romano, Germany, Prussia, Spain, and Japan arrived at England's place.

Countries slowly trickled in the door, France the first one to arrive, wearing his trademarked snazzy blue cape and red pants. His awesome clique of Prussia and Spain swaggered in. They weren't wearing shoes. Germany and Italy stumbled in next, Italy atop Germany's broad shoulders. The muscular nation let out an exasperated sigh. "Mein Gott, stop sqvirming!"

The smaller nation complied, falling backwards with a snort onto the soft carpet of England's house. He made no effort to get up, but Germany still outstretched a hand to help him. "You're an idiot, Italy."

Italy just shrugged. "Ayo, let's go find some food or something, Doitsu. Swaggin." Italy kept hold of Germany's hand and strutted with him into the kitchen, where France was looking through the cabinets, Spain was sleeping on the large table, and Prussia sitting on the counter, them all debating about what their next Vine should be of.

Russia burst through the entrance in an expensive looking sled pulled by huskies, breaking the doorframe on his way in. "Hello, everyone! I am here!" He stepped off the sled and over the dogs to make his way inside. He heard a disgruntled gargle, so he followed the noise to what was the kitchen, where Italy was crying. Germany was desperately trying to comfort him.

"Friend, what is wrong?" Russia asked, worried about his tiny Italian friend.

"He found vasted pasta in ze sink." Germany said to the purple-eyed nation. "He von't stop crying."

Italy flailed miserably like the piece of shit he is. "Oh, mio dio!" He cried out.

"It's okay, Italy, calm down." Germany rubbed Italy's sexy back in soothing circles as he heaved with sobs.

"No," tears slid down his face. "The pasta! It's gone!"

Everyone in the kitchen bowed their heads and stood silently to honor the fallen noodles as the upset nation continued his episode. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the front door burst open, and the echo could be heard throughout the whole house. Spain gallantly sprinted into the kitchen with Romano clinging onto his back. No one noticed.

China rode in on his motherfucking badass dragon boss, and Japan's bitching face trailed behind him, a giant glowing sword casually in his hand.

"Desu kawaii gomenasai, Italy-sama-chan," Japan greeted.

"Ay bitch, wazzup homeswagger," Italy replied, reaching in Germany's boot to pull out a pair of sunglasses.

Britain waltzed like a flaming homosexual into the kitchen, surprised to see that everyone had arrived. The countries all simultaneously stared into his soul.

"Hi, everyone," Britain said. They all responded in their various languages because that's fucking awesome.

"Aru, what should we do now, aru aru," China said.

America did a backflip onto a skateboard and rolled into China. China glared at him.

Germany blinked. "I don't know vhy I'm even here."

"Because you're my bitch," Italy told him.

"Makes sense." Germany leaned forward and kissed Italy on the cheek, slobbering in the process. Italy didn't care, because Germany was hot.

"I have some really shizzy news to tell!" Italy screeched. Prussia began to cry. He was sensitive.

"What is it?" Russia asked.

Canada appeared in the room.

Everybody screamed. "HOLY FUCK WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?" Prussia yelled through tears.

"I've been here since last Tuesday," Canada murmured.

"Okay now shut the fuck up guys I need to tell you the news, yo!" Italy shouted.

They all looked at Italy patiently, waiting for an answer.


	2. Chapter 2

"I WANNA PLAY TRUTH OR DARE, motherfuckers."  
Police sirens went off in the distance. Francis swore and crashed through the window, his snazzy cape the last thing seen as he vanished off into the night.  
They started playing truth or dare.  
"Yo yo, real talk here, who be bitchin' first, ay," Italy whispered into the wind. Canada raised his hand.  
"Ayo 'kay, truth or dare, maple fucker."  
"Truth, eh."  
Italy moved his rocking rear. "How you feeling 'bout that sexy Polish pierogi?"  
Canada gasped. Everyone in the room fell silent. "Him? Well, he..." Canada tore off his shirt to reveal the Polish flag tattooed to his chest.  
"BITCH, I'D SUCK HIS DICK ANY DAY."  
Francis crashed through the wall, holding a statue of a baguette and pulling along none other thaN..  
POLAND.  
"QUICK, FRANCE, GO GET A CHILLIN' FUCK ROOM FOR CANADA AND POLAND," Italy said as he began to break it down.  
France rushed Canada and Poland to a room, who had started making out as soon as Poland saw the Polish flag tattoo.  
"Tight. Next up'll be my lil itchin bitchin sweetheart, DOITSU!"  
"Vat?" He lifted his head up, looking around.  
Prussia interjected. "Dare! He chooses dare!" Ludwig's eyes widened.  
Italy grinned. "Take your swaggy shirt off and lemme see those abs!" Italy squealed excitedly like a rabid fangirl.  
His jaw dropped in horror. "N-no!"  
"Enlever votre chemise putain, maintenant, ou je vais te tuer!" France yelled at him in angry French.  
Germany frowned, and the group cheered him on as he took off his black shirt.  
Everyone collectively gasped as the flawless, washboard abs came into view. They were far too perfect to describe with human words, but the closest that Italy could get was perfectly peeled potatoes soaked in only the most sufficient olive oil.  
Germany hastily put back on his shirt, face a deeper pink than a bald chicken. He took the deafening silence as disgusted shock, so he ran into the bathroom and started crying really hard.  
The one to break the silence was Prussia. "Wait! West, verdammt, get your ass back out here!" Prussia dashed into the bathroom after Germany.  
Germany was curled up in the bathtub sobbing. "Go avay, Prussia."  
He sat down next to the tub anyways. "Listen here you lil' shit, you have the most flawless fuckin' body I've ever seen and I bet that every single one of the dudes out there would suck your dick, okay?" Germany sniffled.  
"Okay. Ja. Thanks, bro."  
Prussia dragged his younger brother out of the bathroom and back to the game, and Italy glomped Germany. "You swagaliciously hot, Doitsu!" He exclaimed, still clinging onto the larger nation.  
"Danke, Italy." He replied, still sounding pretty sad.  
They decided to keep playing, even though the other countries begged Germany to play without his shirt. He refused.  
Feli decided to sit on his lap.  
"Who next?" Feli asked.  
"Ooh, me! Me!" Alfred shouted.  
"What ya wanna do?" Feli asked.  
"DARE!"  
"Hey, aren't I supposed to be azking?" Germany said.  
"Shut up, whore. Okay, I dare you to write a love letter to Arthur, tape it on his door, and leave all your clothes there," Feli cumchortated.  
"Okay!"  
Arthur had gone to bed to rest his old man eyes. Alfred took his shittily-written note and some tape for downstairs and hastily taped the letter to the front of the door. He tore off his shirt and his pants fell off of his hips. He sighed at the release, his white boy body finally free.  
"Yes, at last!" he shouted, pushing aside the covers and laying on the bed naked. As he sat there trying to fall asleep, he remembered his sandman tea that had gotten left on the counter. "Well shit."  
"Dude what is it?" America shouted through the door.  
"I left my tea on the counter," England whined. "can you get it for me? Pleaseeeee?"  
"Dude, that's too much work. You go get it." America replied itching his leg which has suddenly turned white.  
England sighed getting out of his now really messy bed. "Fine!" putting on a half torn Snuggie, he opened the door, his front side exposed.  
America looked England up and down, before taking the letter off the door, handing it to England, and sauntering away, so the Brit could have a great view of his fabulous ass.  
"Well," England looked at Americas fabulous ass. "That's a fine ass you got there."  
America turned around and smiled. "Thank ya!" he flipped his hand forward in a sassy gesture. "I try."  
England smiled. "Can you grab my tea while you're at it?"  
"Nah," America just kept on walking.  
England sighed for the second time in the past two minutes. He was having tea withdrawals, but was too lazy to go get it. So because he was too tired to go downstairs, he decided to read the note America had given him.  
_Dear my beloved sunshine, England,  
I have always loved you. You have always given me the pink mug when you make tea, for me and even though I always throw it on the floor, you just pick it up and give me the same mug with tea. And then when I try and play video games with you, you get frustrated and leave because I beat you every time, for I am just too awesome to lose. You are my father. You raised me to believe in true love, and I believe I have found it with you, my dad. And even though you are my dad, I don't care. Because true love cannot be changed, for fate has brought us together. Daddy, will you marry me? I hope you will, because I already bought pepperoni pizza for the wedding. Meet me downstairs and we shall talk.  
See you soon my love,  
America_


End file.
